member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
