but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
