I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
