Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
