the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Randomize
