How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Randomize
