he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Randomize
