The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
