I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
