I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
