It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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