after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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