How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
