The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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