so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
