dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
