Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
