On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
