i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
