i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
