So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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