Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
