do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize