Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
