How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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