Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
