I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
