I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize