i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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