I think I died a long time ago.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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