But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
