My room smells like vodka and shame
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
