I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
