Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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