Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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