But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
