just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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