I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
