I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
