I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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