Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize