Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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