i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
