i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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