I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
