If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
