apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
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