I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
