What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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