i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
