i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
