this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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