I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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