no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
