you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I think we might need a safe word for this...
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
