Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize