They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
