well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
