watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
