ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
