it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
